Category Archives: Bisexuality

Bisexual or Bicurious

Bisexual

If you’re asking yourself Am I Bisexual?” then here’s a handy checklist:

Thinking about the people you’ve been attracted to, so far in your life, were they all of the same gender? If you answered “No”, to any or all of the questions in our list above then we feel it’s okay for you to call yourself bisexual. We don’t care how attracted you are to the genders around you – you’re bisexual as soon as you stop being exclusively attracted to only one sex.

That’s it. It really is as easy as that.

If you’ve never had sex with another woman, but are dying to see what it’s like, you’re Bi curious! If you have a rich fantasy life which includes other women, and it turns you on, you are bicurious.

It’s no surprise that so many women are bi curious. It’s been noted that nearly every woman is bi curious to some extent. More than half of the heterosexual women in a recent Boise State University study indicated they were bicurious and the number increases as women age. Over 60% of the heterosexual women in the study were sexually attracted to other women. 50% had fantasies about other women and 45% had kissed another woman.

Everyone isn’t bisexual really. Not all bisexuals, either. We don’t think everyone who is sexually attracted to more than one gender needs to identify as bisexual. We agree that people choose labels and identities for a wide variety of reasons. When we define bisexuality we’re not doing it to tell people they must call themselves bisexual.

Some people don’t use “the bisexual word” because they want to draw attention away from the genders of their partners. Others feel that “more than one gender” doesn’t do enough to highlight the wide range of gender.

How do we want people to define bisexual as an identity?

The same way we define bisexual as a sexual orientation – attraction to more than one gender. We’ve got one word for both orientation and identity, let’s have one definition – but this doesn’t mean there should be only one identity open to people.

There are also people who define bisexual differently, and then either don’t define as bisexual themselves or don’t want their friends to do so. They define bisexual as being all about having a lot of sex, or about definitely not being attracted to trans people, or about having to have a male and female partner at the same time, or about being 50/50. Very few people who identify as bisexual add these things on to their own definition of the word, and we think it’s time this baggage was as such.

One Word, One Definition
People might argue over what we mean by “lesbian” or “gay” as an identity, but few people have any confusion about what “homosexual” means as a sexuality. These are separate words, with related but different meanings.

But we only have one word for bisexuals. “I’m a homosexual but I’m not a lesbian” makes far more sense than “I’m a bisexual but I’m not a bisexual.”
People don’t use complicated definitions for identities to explain why they feel included, they use them to exclude themselves or others. As we only have one word for our identity and our sexuality, we here at The Bisexual Index think that we really only need one definition.

Why create hurdles and insist people jump them?
Some of us don’t jump so well. In the absence of a scene we can identify with, unlike the gay community, many people use the word bisexual not because they see it as an identity, but because it’s accurate about their sexuality.

If individuals chose not to use the word “bisexual” to describe themselves, that’s fine by us. But when we’re talking about populations, we need wide simple definitions. What’s more important for safer sex planning, or staffing levels of discrimination hotlines – how many people self-identify as bisexual or how many people are sexually attracted to more than one gender? You don’t have to be ‘out’ to be fired, queer-bashed or kicked out of your home.
Most people who identify as ‘bisexual’ as an identity will be bisexual in terms of orientation, but we admit these aren’t concentric circles. A tiny minority of people will say they’re bi because they think it’s cool or because they’re afraid to say they’re homosexual. But we firmly believe that all people who are attracted to more than one gender should be free to describe themselves as bisexual without anyone telling them off with “just being bisexual isn’t enough, being ‘a proper bisexual’ is more complicated than that.”

It’s time to strip those off. The greatest tool in awareness is language, and Bisexual Playground is a platform for you to meet local bisexuals.
Don’t worry about not being a ‘proper’ or ‘true’ bisexual – it’s okay to have a preference or to only be attracted to one gender at a time for parts of your life. The dictionary definition does not say “currently”, or “equally”, or “simultaneously” or “only”, and neither does ours!
This is how BisexualPlayground define bisexual: A bisexual is someone who is attracted to more than one gender. You might care about the gender of your partner a lot, a little, or not at all – but their gender doesn’t prevent you from being attracted to them.

Why limit yourself? Start Bisexual Dating Now.

Bisexual Swingers

Bisexual SwingersSwing“, “Swinger“, “Bisexual Swingers” what do these words mean to you. How about the word “lifestyle?” Funny how words mean so many different things to so many different people. My dictionary defines “Swinger” as: “One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.” I always had a suspicion that Barry Bonds was a “swinger.” My dictionary also says: “A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.” Now we’re getting somewhere, although I didn’t know marital status had so much to do with “swinging.” I’ll have to call Webster and explain to him that non-married couples swing too. I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear that.

Most people I run into find the label “swinger” as a negative term with which they don’t want to be labeled. While I understand their reasons, most do not understand that the terms “swing” and “swinger” have undergone many transformations over the last century and will continue to change over the next few years. My favorite dictionary definition defines “swinger” as: “A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.” Now that is a term we can live with. Maybe we should print that definition on shirts, come out of the closet and show the world who we are. OK, maybe not this week… But soon?

Bisexual Swingers and especially bisexual males seem to have more and more options attend bisexual swingers parties these days. For many years most bisexual men were kind of in the closet as far as most swingers communities went. They would list their profiles as straight and then repress their desires at swingers clubs and lifestyle parties so they wouldn’t freak out other couples and get a reputation within the community as a “bi male”. As open-minded as the swingers community claimed to be, their has definitely been a stigma associated with male bisexuality in the lifestyle.

There is great news for Bisexual swingers as bisexual swingers parties and communities and forums embracing the idea of male bisexuality in the lifestyle are popping up and rapidly gaining popularity on several of the more progressive and genuine swingers sites. We are starting to see so many men switching their profile to Bi comfortable, bi curious, and bisexual. We are also seeing a lot of couples who we always thought the male was straight changing his preference over to indicate some level if bisexual interest. It seems that there are a lot more bisexual swingers in the lifestyle than most people ever believed. Because it is becoming so much more common, it is also becoming much more accepted!

If you are a single bisexual male, couple with a bisexual male, bi curious, or just supportive of the bisexual swingers community, then we strongly encourage you to take a look at BisexualPlayground! You will be able to read all profiles, and see pictures and most importantly see the most complete list of upcoming swingers parties in your area.