If you’re asking yourself Am I Bisexual?” then here’s a handy checklist:
Thinking about the people you’ve been attracted to, so far in your life, were they all of the same gender? If you answered “No”, to any or all of the questions in our list above then we feel it’s okay for you to call yourself bisexual. We don’t care how attracted you are to the genders around you – you’re bisexual as soon as you stop being exclusively attracted to only one sex.
That’s it. It really is as easy as that.
If you’ve never had sex with another woman, but are dying to see what it’s like, you’re Bi curious! If you have a rich fantasy life which includes other women, and it turns you on, you are bicurious.
It’s no surprise that so many women are bi curious. It’s been noted that nearly every woman is bi curious to some extent. More than half of the heterosexual women in a recent Boise State University study indicated they were bicurious and the number increases as women age. Over 60% of the heterosexual women in the study were sexually attracted to other women. 50% had fantasies about other women and 45% had kissed another woman.
Everyone isn’t bisexual really. Not all bisexuals, either. We don’t think everyone who is sexually attracted to more than one gender needs to identify as bisexual. We agree that people choose labels and identities for a wide variety of reasons. When we define bisexuality we’re not doing it to tell people they must call themselves bisexual.
Some people don’t use “the bisexual word” because they want to draw attention away from the genders of their partners. Others feel that “more than one gender” doesn’t do enough to highlight the wide range of gender.
How do we want people to define bisexual as an identity?
The same way we define bisexual as a sexual orientation – attraction to more than one gender. We’ve got one word for both orientation and identity, let’s have one definition – but this doesn’t mean there should be only one identity open to people.
There are also people who define bisexual differently, and then either don’t define as bisexual themselves or don’t want their friends to do so. They define bisexual as being all about having a lot of sex, or about definitely not being attracted to trans people, or about having to have a male and female partner at the same time, or about being 50/50. Very few people who identify as bisexual add these things on to their own definition of the word, and we think it’s time this baggage was as such.
One Word, One Definition
People might argue over what we mean by “lesbian” or “gay” as an identity, but few people have any confusion about what “homosexual” means as a sexuality. These are separate words, with related but different meanings.
But we only have one word for bisexuals. “I’m a homosexual but I’m not a lesbian” makes far more sense than “I’m a bisexual but I’m not a bisexual.”
People don’t use complicated definitions for identities to explain why they feel included, they use them to exclude themselves or others. As we only have one word for our identity and our sexuality, we here at The Bisexual Index think that we really only need one definition.
Why create hurdles and insist people jump them?
Some of us don’t jump so well. In the absence of a scene we can identify with, unlike the gay community, many people use the word bisexual not because they see it as an identity, but because it’s accurate about their sexuality.
If individuals chose not to use the word “bisexual” to describe themselves, that’s fine by us. But when we’re talking about populations, we need wide simple definitions. What’s more important for safer sex planning, or staffing levels of discrimination hotlines – how many people self-identify as bisexual or how many people are sexually attracted to more than one gender? You don’t have to be ‘out’ to be fired, queer-bashed or kicked out of your home.
Most people who identify as ‘bisexual’ as an identity will be bisexual in terms of orientation, but we admit these aren’t concentric circles. A tiny minority of people will say they’re bi because they think it’s cool or because they’re afraid to say they’re homosexual. But we firmly believe that all people who are attracted to more than one gender should be free to describe themselves as bisexual without anyone telling them off with “just being bisexual isn’t enough, being ‘a proper bisexual’ is more complicated than that.”
It’s time to strip those off. The greatest tool in awareness is language, and Bisexual Playground is a platform for you to meet local bisexuals.
Don’t worry about not being a ‘proper’ or ‘true’ bisexual – it’s okay to have a preference or to only be attracted to one gender at a time for parts of your life. The dictionary definition does not say “currently”, or “equally”, or “simultaneously” or “only”, and neither does ours!
This is how BisexualPlayground define bisexual: A bisexual is someone who is attracted to more than one gender. You might care about the gender of your partner a lot, a little, or not at all – but their gender doesn’t prevent you from being attracted to them.
Why limit yourself? Start Bisexual Dating Now.